Category Archives: Love

Growing up Army Strong.

I wrote an article for my HOA newsletter and shared it here to expand my thanks for those that serve as well as the military family members.

I try to have a daily practice of gratitude. It helps me start my day with a positive frame of mind. To me, this is more important than ever in these challenging times. It’s easy for me to look around and count my blessings. The community I live in looks out for each other, and I feel fortunate to be a part of it.

I’m enjoying meeting community members and expanding my friendship circles that being a volunteer board member has afforded me. I highly recommend joining a committee, or even better, serving on the board. We have several openings this October. I’ve mentioned on several occasions that this community reminds me of living on a military base and that is because of the love and support of military families that bond together as a loved one serves.

I see that same caring for each other in this community and it reminds me of another deeper gratitude. Being raised a brat. The fact that I choose to serve in the Air Force doesn’t diminish my gratitude at growing up an Army Brat. Being Army strong served me well as an airman and civilian. I am grateful for all those who serve our country and add to that the immense gratitude for the service of the military family. They didn’t stand in front of a flag, raise their hand and swear to protect this great country, yet they make sacrifices every day.

I thank the parents that raised a child that commits themselves to this country. How, despite your worry, your hearts must burst with pride. I thank the spouse that stands by the soldier and braves all the hardships of deployment, long absences, packing and unpacking with a supportive smile and an “I’ve got this, don’t worry about us” mindset. I thank the kids that try their best to be brave, walking into new schools time and time again. Leaving old friends behind and opening their hearts to new ones, all the while trying to behave as to not reflect badly on the parent serving. It wasn’t all hardships. Living a military life, be it as a spouse, service member or child, builds resilience. The diversity of new cultures and environments enriches our lives in ways that cannot be measured. As we learned to be adaptable, we found ourselves able to adjust to change with a tuck and roll attitude that calms others around us that may not be as comfortable with it. So, if you know a military family, be sure to thank them for their service as well.

Which cover?

Does anyone else build their covers before the book is complete? I like to have a final cover once I vet my story out. It helps me manifest the final product. I can’t decide between these two covers. The story is about a dog that helps his owner find love. That makes me lean toward the dog with the flowers.

Please let me know what you think.

Love who you are.

“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” ― Kurt Cobain

I love this quote. I saw it on twitter today. I agree it is much better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not. Stand in your integrity be authentic, and you will be loved for who you are. Not everyone will love “the true you.” So what. The people that see the real you and love you and all of your perceived flaws are the only people that matter. If someone doesn’t like the true you, they are not the right person to surround yourself with. This quote reminds me of new relationships.

I have a friend that becomes someone else every time she dates a new person. I think she is afraid no one will love her for who she is. Which, couldn’t be further from the truth. She is an amazing, smart, funny, interesting and beautiful woman. But for some reason, she feels she has to become a mirror of the person she is dating. What they like she likes, their favorite food becomes her favorite food. I’m sure you have known someone like that.

No one can sustain this for extended periods. She doesn’t see any of her friends because every free moment is spent with new guy. After a few months of dating, the “real” person starts to emerge, and the relationship becomes strained because the person she is dating can’t figure out why she has changed. Suddenly she doesn’t like to travel when the truth is she always hated traveling. She just acted like she loved it when they first started dating.

It is so important to be your authentic self when you are dating or starting a new relationship. I think marriages and relationships wouldn’t break as often if we showed the new person who we were from day one, not who we think they want us to be. We get each other to fall in love with some different version that we couldn’t possibly sustain. I’d rather be loved for who I am, not who I pretend to be for someone else. Let them run for the hills if who I am doesn’t interest them. The right person will come along and love all the things that made Mr. or Mrs. Not Right run for the hills.

When we try to be someone we are not to please the person we are dating we are cheating them, ourselves as well as the potential love we could have found who can love all that we are.

Life after a brain bleed. #Second Chances

Second Chance Mission

Second Chance Club

Expect

#Second_Chances by Joyce Kostakis

I glance at the calendar and remember that it is my one year anniversary. It is a good one. October 20, 2016, I joined the Second Chance club. I suffered a brain bleed and was hospitalized for eight days.

On my second or third day in the hospital, my doctor makes his morning rounds. “You are lucky to be alive,” he tells me as thoughts of I’d rather be dead than feel this level of pain race through my head. As if he can read my mind, he assures me the pain will go away. Thank God. I am relieved. I choose to believe him. I can expect this pain to go away.

“When?” I ask.

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Loving Unconditionally

Love Coop-MaxLoving unconditionally isn’t an impossible task. In relationships, we start off loving unconditionally, and have every intention of loving until “death do us part”. In the beginning, it’s easy to love everything about your mate, especially when you have love-endorphins coursing through your body. You want to do anything to please each other. But once the love endorphins simmer down, which is usually at the two-year mark and then life happens, you get busy, you get distracted, and distance starts to build. The “until death do us part” starts to feel far off.

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